
Let’s start by setting the scene.
The time is 11:25 pm as I sit here to start writing this. I have just poured myself a glass of wine as I try to ‘get into’ the show Severance in the background. After a solid outlook on the night as the twins
were in bed by 7:05, my husband or I have gone into their room no less than 5 times so far to quiet a cry. This week we’ve had our dishwasher break, and a trip to the Emergency Room for our three year old after getting a gash on his ear/head in the tub. Fun.
On the flip side, we had an awesome snow day getting to relive the unfathomable joy it brings to toddlers, I got to have a great mommy/Matty date as he played hooky from school after getting back from the hospital after midnight the night before, and–the craziest one–the twins turned 6 months today!
Ok, fast forward. It’s now a week and a half later and I’m finally getting back to writing this.
Let’s get back in the feels.
Six months ago, I became a mother of twins. Alongside my three-and-a-half-year-old, life catapulted me into a new realm of motherhood—one filled with double the joy, double the challenges, and triple the lessons I never expected. Who are we kidding… it’s exponential, not double! Even as a health and wellness coach, it’s been a journey unlike any other.
Although my husband and I still feel like we are in a twilight zone every now and then with only an illusion of space and time, we have come to finally feel a bit closer to finding our “new normal” in patterns and rhythms and expectations among all of us (including the dog - who rings the bell to go out every time a baby cries).
With that said, I’ve been trying to grapple with what to say I’ve learned, how to say I feel, and what the heck has happened both internally and externally over the last six months. Both for my own understanding, as well as any mamas who are going through or about to go through something similar.
Emotionally: Navigating the Rollercoaster
No book, class, or expert can fully prepare you for the emotional jungle gym that comes with twins. The love is immense, but so is the overwhelm. I’d say the hardest part to this day (and I’m told it continues) is my new unwanted best friend…guilt. Guilt for not giving my older child enough attention, for not bonding equally with both twins, and for not having energy for spending time on me and my husband’s relationship.
Our eldest has been a godsend with an unconditional love for the twins, patience to just be, and growing through his own independence. But boy does it hurt. It hurts when he asks to play and I’m trying to put one down to sleep. It hurts when we don’t get to play because it took longer for them to fall asleep. It hurts when I say “when I’m done with xyz…” and his response is “is Dada home yet?” or “when is Poppop coming over” in his polite, roundabout, problem-solving way of him trying to get what he wants without saying anything rude, mean, or to upset me.
On the other hand I hurt knowing that I physically cannot give as much time and attention to the twins as I did to our oldest. While there are more snuggles and play time, there are less individual bonding moments and teaching gets lumped together during playtime. I remind myself that that is all they know, and they have the added love of each other which is visible as they calm each other and interact with one another as well as their brother, but the guilt and hurt lives on.
With all of that said, the joy is indescribable. The feeling of watching them all begin to interact and love each other in a way I’ve never experienced at such a young age is remarkable. They look up to our oldest like he is a superhero… and the funniest one at that. And our oldest wakes up asking where each is to run and go see them giving them the biggest (borderline too big) of hugs”.
There are days I can feel isolated, even in a house full of people. It’s easy to lose yourself in the routine of little ones care. Emotions aren’t linear, and that’s okay. I am grateful beyond words for the village we have supporting them, me and us. My parents and in-laws help out and spend time with them four days during the week as I get myself back into work, trying to keep other things in order, and have a bit of breathing room. I love you all more than you know.
Physically: The Body’s Silent Battles
Physically, the postpartum journey after twins is an entirely different landscape. Not remotely the same region, or continent as the first go around with a singleton. Everything was stretched more, organs were shifted further around, ribcage had to expand more. C-section leaves an additional hurdle of sensitivity, seven layers of muscle cut. On top of that there is less time to focus on recovery and regaining as well as, uh, energy.
But recovery isn’t just about healing; it's about rediscovering strength in a body that’s been through the extraordinary. When it was time to focus on rebuilding, I faced 3 finger diastasis recti, fatigue that coffee couldn’t fix, and a complicated change in desire for what my body wanted to do to gain strength and move.
Six months later I’m still 12lbs heavier than I was prepregnancy. My stomach still has a weird upper pooch. I’ve lost what feels like more than half my hair, and nothing feels tight. But these six months weren’t about the ‘bounce back’ like last time. They were more about survival and regaining normalcy. Now we work back up to it.
Movement has always been my therapy, but this time not in the traditional sense. I redefined what exercise meant: a few stretches while holding a baby, deep breaths during diaper changes, pelvic tilts and ab engagement while feeding, or squats while rocking a fussy twin. Energy management became more vital than time management. While I am still not spending the time and energy I want on my body, I have learned to celebrate small wins because they build the foundation for bigger shifts, and grace to keep some sanity.
Mentally: The Hidden Load
The mental load of parenting multiples is invisible yet heavy. Keeping track of feeding and sleep schedules (who was that again?), capturing growth milestones, and the emotional needs of each child can feel overwhelming. I found myself juggling mental tabs, often forgetting where I left my phone, coffee, and sometimes mind. Mom brain is real with a little cloudiness in each task as I try to focus on one thing, but the other 5 things going on keep poking me.
What helped? Letting go of perfection. Allowing room for grace. Embracing the chaos. Going with the flow. I started to delegate more (thanks for the laundry on Monday Mom!), simplify routines, and remind myself that done is better than perfect. The biggest judge will be me, and if others are judging… I really, really don’t care. Come step in these dirty, crazy shoes for a little haha. Mindfulness didn’t mean hour-long meditations; it meant pausing for a deep breath (or 3) in the middle of the madness, grounding myself in the present moment, and reminding myself how blessed I am to be the chosen one for the bonus baby.
So to sum it up, what I wish I knew before my twins turned 6 months
You can love your babies deeply and still feel overwhelmed. One doesn’t cancel out the other.
Your identity will shift, and that’s part of growth. Embrace who you’re becoming, not just who you were.
Small moments matter. A five-minute break, a quick chat with a friend, or a solo coffee run can refill your cup more than you realize.
Ask for help. Not because you’re failing, but because you deserve support.
Give yourself grace. You are doing enough. You are enough.
Six months in, I’m still learning. Every day brings new challenges, but also new joys. If you’re in the thick of it, just know—you are not alone. You are strong, even when you feel like you’re not. And you are doing an incredible job!
PS. I also want to take a moment to give a shoutout to the hubbies out there. I know it’s often said to moms “I don’t know how you do it,” but I honestly don’t know how my husband does it. He isn’t just a good father, he’s a great dad. He’s present, engaged, helpful, and loving. He makes sure to make time even though that means sacrifices elsewhere. He juggles creating and growing a new business, a commute to the city, less than 5 hours of sleep a night, and still jolly although I know he’s stressed as anything on the inside. Fatherhood looks good on you babe.
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