Pancake Brain vs. Waffle Brain: The Hidden Loss of multiTasking

As a mother, the phrase “I’m multitasking” often feels like both a badge of honor and a survival strategy. We're constantly juggling a million moving parts: cooking dinner while answering emails, breaking up sibling fights mid-laundry fold, half-listening to a podcast while trying to schedule doctor appointments and sip coffee. It feels like second nature—like we were built for this.

It’s exhausting. And it’s glorified. Here's what I've realized as a mom (and wellness coach): multitasking is not the most efficient way to live. And it’s definitely not the most peaceful.

Women Are Like Pancakes. Men Are Like Waffles.

Years ago, I heard a metaphor that made me laugh out loud—and stuck with me ever since:

Women are like pancakes. Men are like waffles.

Let me explain.

Picture a fluffy pancake on your breakfast plate. You pour syrup over it, and it spreads—seeping into every bite, touching every edge...and then some. That’s what motherhood often feels like.

Our thoughts, responsibilities, professional and personal to-dos, and emotions run into every part of our day. We’re thinking about the grocery list during storytime, stressing over work while doing dishes, and carrying mental loads that bleed into every moment.

Now picture a waffle. Syrup sits neatly in each little square. It has boundaries. It keeps things compartmentalized. It doesn't let what's going on next door seep in.

That’s how I used to see my husband. I used to marvel (and sometimes rage) at how my husband could be on a work call, completely zoned in, pacing the room with laser focus—while the house was in disarray - kids yelling in the background, dog barking at who-knows-what, and climbing over a mess. And he was just... there, fully present in his one thing. Like syrup in a perfect little waffle square.

But here's the thing. He wasn’t ignoring it out of spite or ill will. He was in one square. One task. One focus.

I used to find it infuriating. Now? I envy it.

The Science Behind Multitasking

What we call multitasking is usually just task-switching. According to neuroscientists, the brain doesn’t actually perform multiple tasks at once, especially ones that require cognitive effort. Instead, it switches back and forth rapidly, creating mental residue each time. That means slower performance, more mistakes, and—here’s the kicker—mental fatigue.

In fact, research from Stanford University found that people who frequently multitask are actually worse at organizing thoughts and switching between tasks efficiently as well as struggle more with focus and memory. So not only are we not doing more—we’re doing less, with more stress.

Why Moms Feel Like Pancakes

As moms, we don’t choose to be pancake-brained. Mothers are natural multitaskers—partly because we’re wired to anticipate and meet the needs of others. Our mental syrup is everywhere, because we care about everything. We’re scanning constantly—who’s hungry, when is that deadline again, who needs help, what did we forget?

But this constant state of divided attention can leave us feeling scattered, depleted, and disconnected.

What if the key to reclaiming your time, energy, and peace wasn’t doing more—but doing less, better?

The Power of Single-Tasking

Alright, first let's get one thing straight and correct the stigma. Single-tasking isn’t lazy. It’s intentional. It’s strategic. And it can be life-changing.

Here’s how to bring a little waffle-style focus into your pancake world:

• Use time blocks: Try 15-30 minutes of focused time on one task. No phone. No side-chats. Just one square. (Learn more about the Pomodoro Technique for the power of 25 minute focus blocks)

• Create transition rituals: Before switching tasks, take 30 seconds to breathe, stretch, use the restroom, or grab water. This resets your brain.

• Set visual reminders: A sticky note that says “One thing at a time” can gently pull you back to focus.

• Drop the guilt: You don’t have to be available for everything, all the time. Being fully present in one thing is often more loving than being half-there in ten.

When I let myself be fully in the moment—whether it's playing with my kids, focus strategy work, writing a newsletter, or just drinking my coffee—I get more done. And I feel better doing it.

The Superpower You Didn't Know You Had

Being like a pancake isn’t a flaw. It’s a reflection of how deeply we care and how widely we hold the needs of others. But being a waffle, sometimes—structured, focused, and deliberate—can be the act of self-preservation we desperately need.

There’s a kind of freedom in choosing to slow down, even when the world around you demands speed. There’s power in doing one thing well, in being fully present, in letting your brain rest.

Multitasking might make us feel busy. But single-tasking? That makes us effective. And peaceful. And powerful.

Ready to reclaim your time and energy?

If you're tired of feeling pulled in a million directions and want to create a more focused, sustainable rhythm in your life, I'm here to help.

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Because you don’t have to be everything to everyone. You just have to be present, where and when it matters most.